I had an interview at the Manchester Museum of Science and Industry two weeks ago and I had a whirlwind time visiting a northern city for the first time in my life. I had a great opportunity to explore a city and I sampled everything that it was famous for: trams, canals, heritage, textiles and the birth of the world’s first commercial railway network. The museum was built on the engine sheds and station of the old Manchester to Liverpool railway line built by George Stephenson in 1830. It was like the Science Museum of the North. Terrific, except that I didn’t get that job I wanted.
Having lost another chance of getting into work just made me feel miserable again. My family didn’t really want me to leave the nest but I was hoping to make a new life for myself and they were more glad to see my stay for the time being. The last job interview I had prior to MOSI was a stockroom assistant at the Science Museum in London. When I lost that one my mother was angry, but when I lost the MOSI interview she was more glad to see my lose it. That woman seriously needs a dose of Prozac and needs to realise just how futile the options I have here are useless. The hell of living in a dysfunctional household is tyranny with humiliation. Dad is a socially suicidal maniac who can’t hold onto a woman or a daughter, stepdad is a home wrecking bastard I wish I never had in my life. My siblings have all the options available to them but lack the kind of ambition and passion that I have. My brothers like to take it out on other people for fun like the dozy scrubbers they are and my sister is a lame brained sheep who I would much rather slap across the face for annoying me. I don’t want to live here anymore.
Only a few months ago I called time at studying at the Open University. For seven years I had been studying part time at a distance learning institution for the hope of getting a degree and improving myself and getting into the field that I wanted to be in. I started by studying my passion which was Science and tried combining it with English Literature, then I dropped out of studying Literature and went straight into Science halfway through my degree. However along the way I was beset with problems at home and being on the dole. I was being made to chase menial jobs which I didn’t want to do and I even though I needed a job at all to earn a crust I couldn’t even sell myself to these jobs because I couldn’t make a convincing impression that I wanted it. Year after year I was stuck on the dole in a catch 22 situation chasing jobs I couldn’t really care about and trying for jobs I wasn’t qualified and experienced for. I tried to self employ myself as a writer but I struggled to create anything sellable and I ended up losing money from an investment into self publishing a book that didn’t even launch a career for me. I felt like I wasn’t really going anywhere and no one cared about my ambitions and my achievements. I was being made to feel like a second class citizen and that was an intolerable notion. No one is a second class citizen in my world, only people who don’t meet standards.
If my employment record was bad then you should see what could have been a factor in it. First there’s my autism, a disability which has made me a social recluse of most of my life and
made it hard for me to function as an ordinary person and then there’s the fact that my family are so bloody awkward at helping me. They are typical old style working class citizens with no passion, ambition or motivation. They went into work with the belief that a job is nothing more than an outgoing labour exercise with which to earn your keep. They go into a crappy job from day one and stay on until they retire earning peanuts to afford the luxuries of a consumer society. That’s not what I want in life. I want to go out and be a somebody achieving something of such great significance that I leave a lasting legacy on the world I lived in having changed it for the better. Be it a scientist, an engineer or an explorer. Travelling to places, discovering new things, building a better world, creating amazing contraptions. But everywhere I went no one wanted me and wouldn’t listen.
Well that settles it then, I will not tolerate the second class nonsense that people keep associating me with and the options that are available to me. So as of now I am packing up my life here in Hornchurch and moving into university. I’m sure with the credits that I have from part time study at the Open University, my volunteer work in research and my status as a mature student I should be able to transfer or start a degree course at another university. This time I will be studying on campus at a university with fellow like-minded individuals who share the same passion for scientific discoveries and technological advances that we can take up and change the world. I am going to take a degree in either computer science, physics or electronics. Then later I’ll probably do a masters in aerospace engineering. If I can’t succeed or progress effectively as a distance learning student anymore then I don’t see why I should continue in that area anymore. Besides all this trouble at home and suffering the company of lame brained prats is stifling my genius and creativity. If they don’t care about my ideas then there is much ado about them for my life.
Having been in Glasgow and been a part of the friendliest best games on Earth I am going to make Strathclyde University my place of study. It’s got a world class science and engineering background, has a vibrant and active student society and has it’s own archery club. Making it a perfect place to create and breed a future scientist and potential Olympic and Commonwealth archer so I can go onto play as a great sportsperson and aspiring champion.