Today I have just started working on my Christmas list for my family containing a list of things that I would like to see come out from under the tree on Christmas Day. It isn’t a very extensive list and I can’t think of enough things to ask for. I remember when I was young and I would feel my list with all the bestselling toys of the year on it. Matchbox, Thunderbirds, Power Rangers, Action Man, Lego, etc. It was a very good list full of some very cool stuff. But I only wish as an adult my taste for Christmas was still there.
I found an old Christmas list I had in my drawer from 2013. I have on it a few items that I had in mind at the time and all I could think of was just a few items that would make good stocking fillings. The rest of the list reads with a footnote marked ‘High Priority!’:
- A paid job
- A home to call my own
- A sharp shooting archer playing for Team GB
- A social life to make me happy
That’s just about as much as I really want that I still can’t get. But wait hold on I have managed to get myself a social life and I have Facebook to communicate with them. What I really need is a change of scene. I am so stagnated and fed up with my life’s choices. I wish I had planned my academic career properly then I wouldn’t have to be here in the first place. I was at the Open University then but I am not now and I won’t be able to go back due to my restriction placed on my profile that stops me from applying for any more modules. As for my job hunting it’s the same as always: I will not be hired because I have no experience and no connections. Wait I do have connections but I can’t communicate with them or have any real means of making myself work for them. All I can think of doing is waiting for my university placement and even that is still awaiting a decision from the electronics department.
I am starting to think that maybe I am incapable of getting employed and maybe it’s time I invested into a business again. The last time I tried to get work was as a writer with a self-published novel. But I couldn’t make it because the book didn’t sell very well and I couldn’t even sell it effectively. The failure made me go on to university and I haven’t had a time nor the will to motivate myself to try for another attempt at it. Long term unemployment can really crush you. However recently I read about a famous animator and writer who was fired from a newspaper because he ‘lacked imagination and had no original ideas’. That man was Walt Disney and when his entertainment empire rose to prominence they bought out the company that fired him. That would make him smile from beyond the grave.
What am I supposed to do next? I want to make something of myself but what is stopping me? I haven’t got the resources that’s what. The only things I can think of are that Essex County Genius project but for that I will have to shop for some more reading material. The other thing I can think of is finding a textiles worker to help me develop my idea of a business to make my own archery quivers which will bring style and character to them. Another idea that I have in mind is to buy a book on computer programming and develop my own app for archery. That could be useful in my studies of computers and electronics.